(Today was our first day back to do any sort of school work since before the holidays. Avery came up with this after we read about the start to World War I. She may have taken a little artistic license.)
Act 1, Scene 1
Sound of gunshots and two loud screams.
Serbia: Hey, you! Austria!
Austria-Hungary:
(looks up from snorfing chocolate) Mmm?
Serbia: I hate your stupid guts! Why did you take over Bosnia? Ugh! And, um, yeah. I just shot your archduke!
Austria-Hungary: Oh, yeah, Serbia?? IT'S ON.
Serbia:
(snaps fingers) Britain! France! Russia!
(turns to Austria-Hungary) Good luck, Austria. We call ourselves the ALLIED FORCES! Beat that.
Austria-Hungary:
(Laughs) Oh, really?
(claps loudly) Germany! Bulgaria! Turks! Get your butts over here! We call ourselves the CENTRAL POWERS. Mwaahahaha!
(All line up looking annoyed. Austria-Hungary throws a block of chocolate at the Allied Forces.)
Act 1, Scene 2
Great Britain: You know what I like? Power. You know what else I like? Winning. You know what else? I really, really like passing laws that aren't fair to my people! I'm going to draft people into the British army.
(hysterical high-pitched laughing fit)
(British people offstage heard singing sad songs and crying.)
British women: Let's do men's jobs!
British soldiers: Owwwwwww.
(Women drag a big pile of amputated limbs offstage, closely followed by a bunch of limbless soldiers.)
Act 1, Scene 3
Germany: I'm gonna sink that shi-ip! Na na na na na na!
USA: Oh, poop. Here we go. Innocent people drowning on the
Lusitania is SO not cool, Germany. We're gonna make sure you go DOWN.
Germany: Wait, I'm finishing sending a horrible telegram to Mexico that you are definitely not going to like.
Allied Forces:
....._\____________________,,__
..../ `--│││││││││----------------------_]
.../_==o ____________________
.....),---.(_(__) /
....// (\) ),------
...//___//
../`----' / ...
./____ / ... .
(USA marches onstage, running after Germany, wearing bright colors and smiley faces. Germans screech in terror and run off the stage.)